Friday, 14 February 2014

Surviving a broken heart

We can. Despite what we hear from songs and read in novels. People have survived on their own - some long after their partners have effectively left them consciously. This past year I've often asked fellow believers how can God call two people to live lives together for thirty, forty or even fifty years - then takes one away. There comes a time when your soul-mate doesn't answer, nor look at you, nor even feel present. Life takes on a different dimension - very unlike the time when you first met. But it is not as if your life is now halved. We should be more than the sum of our singleness. No more our old selves - just infinitely better. I want to believe that. And go forth without fear.

Valentine's Day 10 am: Was it just coincidence when she opened her mouth when I was about to brush her teeth? Or raise her head when I told her to? No way to confirm.

Sunday Feb 23 9 pm: Impasse - still little progress on her sense of space and time. But she'll look at visitors who talk straight at her line of sight.

Saturday Mar 1 10 am: Still unable to swallow well for a meal. Will have to live with the feeding tube for a while longer.

Friday Mar 7 11 am: This morning very encouraged by her ability to do her standing physio without the knee stiffener. But she is not fully aware of space and time and not standing without support.

Sunday Mar 9 8 pm: Two years not biting on food must have weakened her gums, causing bleeding. Oral hygiene so important as it affects throat and chest congestion. Also developing bleeding corns on her feet.

Monday Mar 17 10 am: Vertical tolerance on the tilt-table strengthens the lower limbs and engage organ blood circulation, to eventually help her stand again.

Thursday Mar 27 8 pm: Week of fighting a low-grade infection. And a bleeding sore from poor pronation while standing. Battling in silence, today both problems are reducing.

Monday Mar 31 10 am: She looked at me this morning with regard. Slowly becoming a person again. But with other friends she could not make eye-contact, even family.

Thursday Apr 10 8 pm: This past week I had to ask for two miracles. The first was when the dogs attacked two baby cobras wandering in the backyard. After tearing them apart, mommy dog could not open one eye. Daddy dog had a swollen cleft with a lip puncture. He was not expected to live for half an hour. The vet agreed at his age of 10 years it is not worth matching blood for the antidote. So at home I waited for his septicemia collapse. It didn't come. After 3 days without food and shallow rapid breathing he slowly recovered. That was the first miracle. The second is for Miranda. I'm still waiting...

Wednesday Apr 16 7 am: When she saw me this morning there was a soft cry. Have been trying to get her to say something past week. Fighting bed sore.

Good Friday 8 pm: The mind freezes after a prolonged period of sadness and anticipation. Came up for air today.

Sunday Apr 27 10 am: Have been working on her space/time cognition on the tilt table. More could be done there. But she would not swallow anything else except up to 80 ml of coke. She hates milk which is being fed directly, about 2 liters daily.

Sunday May 4 8 pm: Last night she tried - opened her mouth - but no words were uttered.

<End of Posr> Next -  Glimmer


  1. I'm encouraged by your devotion to Miranda. Coming from a home where my parents do not get along, it is heartwarming to read about love manifested in action in dire circumstances.

  2. Thanks for your comments, I'm encouraged. Had intended to take this post out as I thought it might be too personal. Life can still be very hard nonetheless.

  3. Me and Gloria are planning a visit to SG this year. We will be in touch for an appointment to see you guys again. Your dedication is a constant source of inspiration for all of us, living example of courage and resilience more than anything else.
    All other aspects of our modern life seem so unimportant (and they are, in fact, unimportant).
    Looking forward to seeing you and Miranda again,
    Andrea and Gloria

  4. So true Andrea. The medal of her US Academy of Engineering arrived in the mail, the number of people getting in Asia can be counted on one hand. But now can she enjoy the honor? Thanks for both your concerns.

  5. Hi Kian, Miranda's legacy lives on in the lives she touched. I can vouch for that as her former student. Thanks for keeping this blog alive.

  6. Thank you Selena. That was a glimmer in a long dark tunnel

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